Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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