Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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