My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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