seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
