eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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