id be glad to
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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