Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
