how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
