Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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