that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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