Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
