Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
