Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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