I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
