If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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