Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
