she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
