I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
