Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
