last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
