Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
