is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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