I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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