apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
