oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
