it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
