well I can't set my house on fire every night
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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