i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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