i just wanna soil my oats bro
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
