i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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