i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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