Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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