I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
