Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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