I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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