drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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