I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
