The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
