I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
