I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
