Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
