i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
