I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
