the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
