who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
