sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
