I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
