i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize