she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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