respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everything about him screamed your future.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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