PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
