sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
