Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
